


Friday Night, Date Night

by alittlenutjob



Category: The Mindy Project
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 12:02:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2850176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlenutjob/pseuds/alittlenutjob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I started this as a joke, but figured why not just go ahead and write one of those weird nights you have with someone that in the end are kind of impossible to explain to other people.</p><p>As always I own nothing but the laptop and feedback is always gratefully received.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friday Night, Date Night

"Fuck, Danny. Oh God." Mindy's knees shook.

"Hold on," he whispered as he closed his eyes and let his fingertips tell him where to go.

"Put it in. Put it in," she hissed.

"Will you just wait a minute? I'm trying."

"You're not doing anything. You're standing there with your fucking eyes closed and I am going to pee myself if you don't get the door open."

"I'm sorry."

"Is that even the right key?"

"I don't know!"

"Stop yelling. Danny, it's too late, I'm just gonna go back and pee in the stairwell."

The click of tumblers sliding as he finally got the right key in the right lock sounded like the silvered voices of angels on high, and she reached past him to push the door wide open and barrel over him as she raced for the toilet.

"OW! What the hell?” She could barely hear his voice back at the front door, but she could definitely hear him drop something. She could imagine him trying to hang his coat and failing.

"I told you I had to pee, dummy," she shouted at him. “That last bottle of Syrah was a mistake,” she muttered to herself.

"Well you shouldn't have had so much to drink." He was louder now, stepping into the doorway as she pushed the handle to flush.

"Could you not do that? I was peeing." Mindy gestured toward the swirling toilet.

Danny shrugged. "You're the one who left the door open."

"It was an emergency Danny." Mindy weaved awkwardly toward him, fighting a zipper she couldn't quite reach. “And you drank as much as I did. You pissed on like 3 walls on the way home, I can't do that. Now get me out of this stupid dress.”

“I thought you'd never ask.” Danny fumbled with the zipper almost pushing her over as he tried, and failed to get the dress undone. He put his hand on her ass to steady himself.

“Knock it off, perv. We need to get something to eat or we're gonna be so hungover.” Mindy stumbled toward the kitchen, her dress unzipped and falling off her shoulders as she flung a cookie tray onto the counter and opened the freezer. Ice cream bars skittered across the counter and onto the floor as she tossed things out and dug further in to unearth the pizza bagel bites she'd hidden there weeks ago. “Perfect.”

Danny had taken a seat at the table and was wobbling dangerously. “Mindy, did you line that with parchment paper?”

Mindy flipped all the little frozen treats onto the cookie tray and slid it into the oven, flipping it on as she shut the door. Preheating was for suckers. “Did I what?”

Danny grimaced. “Damnit, the cheese is gonna fuse with the tray. Why are those in my house, anyway?”

“They are in your house because we needed drunk food. They're perfect. They're carby and fatty and they'll slow down the alcohol.”

“That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.”

“Did you just call me stupid?”

“No, I called your idea stupid.”

“How dare you?” Mindy slammed the freezer door shut. “First, it's science, not stupid, and second those are not the words of a man who wants his dick sucked tonight."

Danny's eyebrows flew up. “Whoa! Who said anything about that?”

“I did. I'm cooling on you though.” Mindy marched through to the bedroom, surprisingly steady now that she was solidly irritated with him. She kicked her shoes into the corner of the room and shimmied out of her dress. She wanted to find something cool and comfortable to sleep in, but the thought of leaning over to dig through the pink dresser in the front room made her head swim. She plopped onto the bed and stretched herself out slowly, lest she fall off the bed again. The last time it happened she'd been a lot more intoxicated than this, but she could remember through the haze how Danny's stupid face had been a mask of fear as he tried to get her to wake up and talk to him. Suddenly she felt very warm towards him again and sad that he wasn't in the bed with her so she could hug him.

He appeared in front of her with a bottle of water and a sheepish grin. “I'm sorry, baby. Your idea isn't stupid. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And you gotta drink this water.”

Mindy smiled up at him. “Thanks.”

“If you puke on this carpet we'll never get the smell out.”

“Damnit, Danny. That was about to be a nice moment.”

“What?” He put her bottle of water on the night stand, and opened his own to take a quick swig.

“You had way more to drink than I did. If anyone's gonna puke it's you. I can hold my liquor.”

“Are you kidding me? One of us ended up in the hospital for mixing muscle relaxants and alcohol.”

“That doesn't count. I was nervous. You know what counts? Winning a drinking contest in an Irish pub.”

“Against a lightweight.”

“Irish, Danny. Irish.”

“That's racist.”

“Will you stop telling me when I'm racist and get in this bed?”

Danny's shirt was over his head before he hit the mattress. “Sorry.”

Mindy curled into him and buried her face in his chest. “You are such a jerk.”

“A handsome jerk though, right?”

Mindy's head snapped back and she stared at him. “Why would you say that?”

His stupid half smile grew wider. “A little birdie told me you used to call me that.”

“Stupid Gwen,” Mindy mumbled into his chest hair. She was having trouble staying mad at anyone though, because her hot boyfriend was tracing the lines of her bare back with his unfeasibly long and nimble fingers. A little shiver ran down her body as she thought about quite how nimble those fingers were, and she found her own hands sneaking into the waistband of his jeans. What she found was a bit half-hearted at best and she tilted her head back and cocked an eyebrow.

Danny shrugged. “Yeah, that guy's asleep. That last bottle of Syrah was a mistake.”

“That's what I said!”

“We can wake him up later. How about I live up to my other nickname?”

“What other nickname?”

“Good-with-my-mouth guy.”

“That's not very creative,” she pointed out, her hand already pushing him down.

“Min, you gotta take all this crap off.” Danny frowned as he tugged clumsily at her Spanx. “Why do you even wear it?”

“So I look nice in clothes, Danny. Don't you want me to look nice?” She hooked her thumbs under the band and started to wiggle out of the practical-yet-pinchy undergarments.

“I want you to look naked.”

Mindy finally worked the Spanx down and tried to toe them away from her, but only succeeded in kicking Danny in the side. “Oops!”

Danny scowled and rubbed the spot she'd kicked. “Hey, that's not the action of a woman who wants her pussy eaten.”

Mindy stopped in the middle of pulling her panties off and kicked him again. “Oh my GOD, Danny. What is wrong with you?”

“It's funny! Because of what you said earlier?”

“Pussy, Danny? Seriously?” She threw her panties at his head and he almost fell off the bed trying to catch them.

“Sorry.”

His hair was a little ruffled where she'd pulled it a bit earlier and he did look a little remorseful, and a lot drunk, kind of like that night he'd put on a show for Jean to save Mindy from having to tell the truth. She couldn't even stay mad at him, but that might be two and half bottles of wine speaking. God, she was gonna be so sick tomorrow. Right now though she was gonna get some of that famous tongue action. She let her knees fall open before him. “How sorry?”

“So, so sorry.” Danny's voice was already muffled as he kissed her thighs and shoved his hands under her to get a good hard grip on her ass.

“Fuck, Danny,” she gasped for the second time that night (and hopefully not the last.) She knew she was about to see stars because her ears were already ringing. Wait, no they weren't. “The fire alarm. That's the fire alarm!”

Danny looked a little dazed, but as she unclamped her thighs from around his ears a look of panic stole over his face. “The bagel things!”

He jumped up and raced for the kitchen, Mindy at his heels. She could see the tiny flicker in the oven and for once in her life she knew exactly what to do, grabbing the fire extinguisher and pushing him out of the way. He stood back with his mouth wide open as she doused the flames, snapping out of it when she started shouting instructions at him. “Turn off the fire alarm! And open a window.”

Mindy turned the sink faucet on full blast and pulled the pan out of the oven, sticking it under the stream of cold water just to be doubly sure that nothing was still smoldering. She flipped the oven off and looked at the mess. When Danny finally caught up with what was happening, he was going to be so mad about his kitchen. A draft of cool air reminded her that she wasn't wearing anything but a bra and her eyes flicked over to where Danny stood at the window, eyes still wide with shock. “You put out a fire.”

“Yeah, I did.” A little wave of pride swelled in her and she smiled. She turned to the sink and turned the water off, satisfied that they were now out of the woods. Sure, she'd kind of started the fire, but she'd saved them too. “Who knew I was so courageous?”

“I did,” Danny growled into her ear as he slipped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

His jeans were still unzipped and the metal teeth cold and sharp against her bare skin, but that wasn't the only thing pressing against her now. “Whoa. Is that a huge erection or are you just happy to see me?”

He responded by spinning her around and crushing his lips against her, his tongue hot and insistent, but not as insistent as the rest of him. She'd definitely be bruised where his fingers pressed into the flesh of her ass, and he was so hard against her stomach she wondered if she might end up bruised there too. “Seriously?”

“You remember that time you saved Morgan from a fire?” He grinned wickedly at her and she nodded. “I was hard for days.”

“Danny!” The compulsion to push him away and point out that they weren't together then and it was so inappropriate was overridden by her need to have him in her RIGHT NOW. The adrenaline was starting to ebb away but her heart kept pounding hard, and as he hitched her legs up around his waist and carried her to his bed she was dizzy with it. He threw her onto the bed and started to strip the rest of his clothes off. The room kept spinning though, and she was suddenly reminded of how they'd gotten into this whole situation tonight. That last bottle of sour red wine, the sharp and sickly taste of it rising in her throat fast. “Fuck, Danny.”

It took him a second too long to figure out what was happening and she had to shove him out of the way as she ran for the bathroom. She didn't close the door behind her this time either, but at least he had the good sense to stay away as she retched miserably. This was why she had a one-glass-a-night rule. She didn't mind getting stupid drunk now and then, but she hated puking. Once she felt reasonably sure it was over she brushed her teeth and washed her face. When she got back to the bedroom she'd found that Danny had laid out a set of soft pajamas and fresh underwear on her side of the bed. He had fallen asleep with a book on his stomach and his glasses perched on his nose. She got dressed quietly and crawled into bed, taking a couple swigs of water before finally laying back on cool pillows. She didn't have the heart to wake him up, because if she knew anything about him at all, he'd be just as sick when he woke up.

* * *

 

They spent the entire next day alternately puking and sleeping. She started feeling human first and offered to make him some chicken broth, but he'd turned it down. She made an attempt to clean the kitchen and convinced him to let her change the bed sheets while he got a shower. The sun had gone down again before both of them seemed stable enough to leave the house, just making it around the corner to the weird coffee shop with Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors painted on the windows and a doo-wop aesthetic and playlist. They both ordered hot cocoa, and sipped slowly from fat little mugs as the crowd ebbed and flowed around them. “Why's there a plant monster in the window?”

Mindy sighed with relief. They were back to normal, more or less. “I really need to work on educating you about musicals.”

“No, you don't.”

“Literally what is the point of you knowing everything about dance if you won't watch Singin' in the Rain with me on a Sunday afternoon?”

She saw caught his little grin before he could suppress it. “I might watch that.”

“Oh my God, you love it. You know all the words.”

“No I don't.” Danny grimaced and took another sip of his drink.

“You do.” Mindy bounced excitedly. “Now I know what we're doing tomorrow.”

“Maybe I have plans already for tomorrow.”

She rolled her eyes. “I mean after church. Obviously I'll go to church with you.”

The grin that he'd been fighting finally broke free. “So did I.”

“Oh yeah, what did you have planned?”

“You remember what I said last night about you fighting fire?”

Mindy blushed like an idiot. “I remember.”

“Days, Mindy. Days.”

“Fuck, Danny,” she whispered as both mugs hit the tabletop and she watched him pull his coat on before tugging her out of her chair. “Oh God.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on <http://alittlenutjob.tumblr.com>


End file.
